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Height: 169 cm

Weight: ???

Eyes: Dark red.

Hair: Black, tends to spring up into these antenna-y things.


Can I shapeshift/bodyswap/spit at/step on/etc?: Ask about the first two, latter two should be fine but I'd like to be told.

Kissing/Hugging: He doesn't like it, but won't go on a rampage because of it or anything. He might push you away and be a bitch. Or punch you. It depends.

Maim/Murder/Death: HAHAHAHA :'( Okay for the maiming, probably not the death. Because. What.

Cooking: ...I bet he burns stuff.


Character: Tachibana Shito
Series: Zombie-Loan
Character Age: High school student. 16-17?

Canon: One day, a girl named Kita Michiru becomes involved in the affairs of two older students, Tachibana Shito and Akatsuki Chika. The reason? She has ‘Shinigami Eyes,’ an ability that lets her see people marked for death who still live—zombies, prey to dark desires and eaters of human flesh. Their job? To destroy these zombies, pay off their debt at the supernatural Z-LOAN office, and regain their own lives. Due to a body-part mixup during revival, Chika and Shito each possess the other’s right hand: if they switch them for over an hour (to summon weapons) or stay too far apart, the hands will rot and fall off.

Shito is the quieter of the duo, his public face being a calm, clever exposition man with a deadpan brand of humor. Although polite and gentlemanly when it suits him to be, he’s usually blunt, selfish, insulting, and is more likely than Chika to kill or injure people if it appears necessary. Of course, this doesn’t stop him from getting flustered over clothing or objects being out of place, revealing himself to be computer illiterate (“CHAT? OFFLINE? Some kind of code?”) and generally, at times, being an utter retard.

Sample Post:

Step one: blow a hole in the crate. Step two: get out of the crate. Step three: shoot some zombies in the face. Any questions? I hope you have them, because clearly this whole setup is a farce.

Not only are there far too many undead here for the Director to have created by herself, but even her attempts to hide it from the public and authorities are too flimsy to be anything but a setup for curious investigators. And so you ran right into it, didn't you, idiot Akatsuki? If I ever have to follow you into a swamp full of traps again, I'll kill you. These reports ... chemical office mismanagement? Cruel and unusual skin diseases of the west? Ga6 + Y9 -> H2O(orz)? It doesn't add up.

Evidence garnered from online records, however, suggests far worse than even that. Just look at these topics on 4CHAN/A/owatagoosaiyam.jpg. 'Down Where It's Wetter' penetrative therapy is ominous enough by itself. 'Sing with All the Voices of the Toucans, Paint with All the Colours of the Lake' auditions, even worse. 'Like a Newbie, Saving for the Very First Time' ... What does that one even have to do with--never mind. It's just a box, Shito. Just a box.

The point is that between these and the subtle, private '... --- ...' code used by the indigent population, even a child could see that your fearsome overlord and her fiancé are merely pawns in a larger game. Think on it, if you're at all capable, and the truth becomes obvious.

The butler did it.

... and if anyone here believes that, then you're even more hopeless than I thought you were. And cheap a bounty as you might be, I'll be glad to remove the lot of you in record service time. You, especially. Your flesh may be foul and rotting, and you might devour brains like a gluttonous beast, but worst of all? You've gone and wrinkled my pants. It's disgusting!


Voting went here.


wouldn't it be grand
Tachibana Shito

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November 2007


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